


Certainty

by watchfob



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Homestuck Shipping Olympics, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-29
Updated: 2012-08-29
Packaged: 2017-11-13 03:37:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/499039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watchfob/pseuds/watchfob
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>About three things you are absolutely positive. First, Dave is a vampire. Second, there is a part of him -- and you don’t know how potent that part might be -- that thirsts for your blood.</p><p>And third, that he is unconditionally and irrevocably a giant huge <i>dork</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Certainty

**Author's Note:**

> Written as part of the Dave<3Jade collab round entry for the 2012 HSO!

Your computer lets out a soft _ping_ , signalling an incoming message. The text on the screen flashes red, and you click the window with a slight smile.

TG: sup  
GG: sup with you!! :P  
TG: so  
TG: about the other day

The day in question was Friday, two days ago. You had been hanging out in the woods behind your house -- though to be fair, _behind your house_ was a bit generous. You’d run through the forest long enough to leave you gasping for breath, the crisp wet air revitalizing your spirits. It almost felt like running through the forest back home, but the air didn't have the same heaviness, the chill left your cheeks ruddy and burning, and the trees were too blue. 

Your grin was insufferable by the time you stopped, and you were too happy to be too careful. Then, you saw him.

He stuck out amongst the trees, his red hoodie a stark contrast to the green-blue around him. He had those dumb shades on, as always, and his expensive camera in hand, and his doofy hair caught the light in ways that made it seem like he was almost sparkling. In fact, _all_ of him seemed to be sparkling. It was slightly mesmerizing.

But you were in no way mesmerized!! Wow, how dumb would that be. But even as you denied this to yourself, he turned and caught sight of you. The motion made a million more sparkles appear on his skin. He looked like that styrofoam snowman you saw at the mall the other day. The thought made you giggle.

It took a second for him to realize the fact that you two were staring at each other. When he did, though, his face contorted into an expression of panic, and before you could get a chance to call out to him, he ran away almost quicker than you could process. 

GG: about the other day  
TG: yeah it would be cool if you could just  
TG: forget that ever happened  
GG: dave its ok!!!  
TG: what

You smile at the screen. Dave is just so silly.

GG: i know what you are  
TG: you do  
GG: of course i do!! its really obvious actually  
TG: well  
TG: well ok then say it

Associating only with his family at school, talking about underground bands, and taking photos of nature in secret. How could anyone come to any other possible conclusion?

You say it. Out loud.

GG: ok i did  
TG: did you just say it out loud  
GG: yes  
TG: wow  
TG: say it in the chat  
GG: ok  
GG: ...  
GG: .....  
GG: ........  
TG: wow really  
GG: ....................  
TG: ok  
GG: ...................................  
TG: ok thats enough  
GG: ...........................................  
TG: dramatic pause ok i get it  
GG: ................................................!!  
TG: oh my god  
GG: hipster  
TG: finally thank  
TG: wait what  
TG: no  
TG: what  
GG: what!!  
TG: you were supposed to say vampire  
GG: what, you totally are a hipster!!  
GG: oh  
GG: ...well im still right arent i? :P  
TG: no  
GG: and if we are still talking about saying things you are  
GG: i guess i should say huge dork!!  
TG: wow are you serious  
TG: im not a dork  
TG: im cool  
TG: legitimately cool both metaphorically and literally  
TG: skin of the undead and all  
GG: doooooooork  
TG: i am not a dork  
GG: fine  
GG: let us say that you are not a dork  
TG: which im not  
GG: and that you are actually cool  
TG: which i am  
GG: is that why you wear those dumb shades?  
TG: rude  
GG: :P  
GG: or do you wear them so you can hide your vampire eyes??  
TG: whoa ok hold up  
TG: i wear these shades because theyre cool  
TG: in an ironic way of course  
GG: of course  
TG: if i didnt want anybody to see these lustrous orbs id wear contacts like my sisters  
GG: did you just call your eyes lustrous orbs  
TG: my life is literally one of your lame fan fictions  
TG: why wouldnt i call them lustrous orbs  
TG: dont be jealous of my kawaii anime eyes  
TG: you know you want these kawaiiyes

You throw your head back and laugh. About three things you are absolutely positive. First, Dave is a vampire. Second, there is a part of him -- and you don’t know how potent that part might be -- that thirsts for your blood.

(Well, you’re assuming, since he hasn’t said anything like that, but he is a vampire, after all. Apparently.)

And third, that he is unconditionally and irrevocably a giant huge _dork_.

TG: dont pitch a fit harley you dont have to be envious  
TG: your eyes are pretty dope too

Also, you might just love him.

<3


End file.
